And you thought YOUR family was bad.

Tags: john goodman, family guy

Evil Monkey
A monkey that lives in Chris’s closet. Whenever Chris mentions it, he looks in the general direction of his bedroom, upon which the monkey is seen pointing at him shakily, and then returning to Chris’s room, much to Chris’s horror. Chris tries to tell his family about the existence of the Evil Monkey but, so far, only Stewie believes him. In the show’s universe, the monkey was not originally evil, but became so after catching his wife in bed with another monkey, which, according to Seth MacFarlane, leaves him “not so much evil as embittered”. When Chris is out of the house, the Evil Monkey is having time off from gesturing and likes to smoke pot and listen to Foghat. As of It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One, he is now a Jehovah’s Witness. The only other characters who have seen the monkey are Peter (in “Stewie Loves Lois”), Brian’s son Dylan (in “The Former Life of Brian) and Old Man Herbert. Peter mistook the monkey for Meg, so he still doesn’t appear to know he exists, and Herbert slept through the whole encounter, but Dylan approaches and viciously assaults the monkey as soon as he emerges to threaten Chris. Although the Evil Monkey was originally intended as a small time gag (similar to the Giant Chicken and The Performance Artist), he has gained cult status amongst Family Guy fans and is extremely popular amongst most fans and non-fans alike. - source

24 Hours Vancouver has a really good interview up with Mike Henry, one of the original Family Guy writers and also the voice of many of the characters on the show, including Cleveland Brown, Herbert the Pervert, Bruce (the effeminate voice guy), and the Greased Up Deaf Guy. Here’s a snippet:

Were there story ideas that the Fox censors just wouldn’t allow?

Henry: They really kind of let us do a lot. There are words and horrific sexual slurs that you can’t say on TV which we all understand - they’re funny when you hear them, but you can’t say them on TV. But for the most part, they really let a lot ride. We’ll go ahead and produce jokes that we know can’t air just for the DVDs. The one that I wish we could have done was actually in the DVD movie: Meg had had a sex change. She was a man and the joke was that she had had an “addadicktomy.” The censors said “No way!”

You can read the rest of the interview here.

Peter, I like you. But I need you to be more than just eye candy around here.
Mr. Weed

Ooh…you’re bending it…
Neil to Lois as she straddles him

Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
(after Peter falls down the waterslide) I’m not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do you won’t learn anything.
Peter and Brian

Please go out with me. I’m just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I’ll pay and everything.
Yeah…uhh…that sounds cool but I’m gonna be in the hospital that night. (shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)
Meg and boy, “8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter”

Can I…Can I touch your hair? I’m gonna do it…I’m gonna touch it. Ooohoohoo it’s like a sheep.
Stewie to Cleveland, “The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire”

My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire, “The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire”

I didn’t know there was going to be an open bar, and the guy really knew his stuff! He made me a mojito. I don’t think it’s a gay drink. Mo-ji-to…
Brian, “Brian the Bachelor”

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you… very homosexually.
Peter, “Lethal Weapon”

Lois, my penis belongs on stage!
Peter, ” The King is Dead”

I’m not gonna kill those kids. If they die I’ll have nothing to watch on Wednesdays… other than the fine programs on Fox.
Peter, “Death is a Bitch”

source

This is precisely why I won’t step foot in this place!

Ding fries are done!

Peter makes some killer cupcakes:

Peter refuses services to Joe and his crippled friends:

How to deal with that annoying baby at the table next to you:

Stewie cooks:

Here are some facts about Thelma Griffin:

Thelma is the mother of Peter Griffin. She is 82 years old, and has grey hair with noticeable wrinkles below her eyes. She has purple earrings and a purple bead necklace. She also wears glasses like her son and husband and is a heavy smoker (which is backed up by her coughing fit).

Her first appearance was in a cut-off scene with Francis, her ex-husband. She mentions that she is on a gambling spree in Las Vegas. Later, near the end of the same episode, Thelma is heard through the front door of the Griffin’s House, requesting a place to stay, and telling Peter to “Break out the Schnapps”. This, in turn, causes the entire family to run towards a “Pod” and blast off, presumably into space.

In another episode, Thelma later divorces Francis and starts dating Tom Tucker for a short while, before leaving him to continue a free life away from commitment.

After Francis dies in Peter’s Two Dads, she reveals to Peter that Francis is not his real father, adding that Peter’s birth was the result of her having relations with a man called Mickey McFinnegan.

source

And of course, here’s a video:

And you thought YOUR boss was a jerk!

Tags: jason voorhees, family guy

And here’s Jason giving Trisha Takanawa an exclusive interview:

If I could turn back time, I would wipeout the visual of Cher doing this originally.

First we have Meg:

And then we have Cher. I’m sorry.

Tags: meg griffin, cher, if i could turn back time

Ten bucks says he’s just sitting around playing his Xbox for 14 hours.

Tags: family guy, george bush