Stewie's Playground » Joe Swanson

Let’s play “I Never!”

Wendy Boswell — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:43:10 +0000

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play “I Never.” You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I’ll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland’s wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um…I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

Post from: Stewie's Playground

Believe it or not, Joe’s walking on air – airdate October 7, 2007

Wendy Boswell — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 21:26:30 +0000

Freakin’ sweet. This is the most recent Family Guy episode titled Believe it or Not, Joe’s Walking on Air (airdate October 7, 2007). Joe gets a leg transplant, hilarity ensues.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

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Joe Swanson quotes

Wendy Boswell — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:44:59 +0000

(Joe falls out of his chair and is about to fall farther into the sewer when Lois catches him.)
Lois: I can’t hold on much longer!
Joe: Lois, pretend I’m one of your children!
(Joe starts to slip)
Joe: Not Meg!
(Lois pulls Joe to safety)

Joe: So, what can I do for you Peter?
Peter: Well Joe, I need to talk to you about something kind of personal.
Joe: Shoot.
Peter: Well, you know, I took this test and, uh, it sorta turns out that I’m technically mentally retarded. And, um, i just wanted to ask, ya know, how do you deal with it?
Joe: Deal with what?
Peter: You know, with being retarded.
Joe: Peter, I’m not retarded, I’m handicapped.
Peter: Oh, well now your just splitting hairs.

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The best of Joe Swanson

Wendy Boswell — Fri, 25 May 2007 23:49:20 +0000

Patrick Warburton, the voice of Joe Swanson, pretty much can crack me up reading the damn dictionary.

Here’s Part 1 of the best of Joe Swanson:

And here’s Part 2 of the best of Joe Swanson:

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Joe Swanson, My Favorite Wheelchair Man

Wendy Boswell — Tue, 16 May 2006 16:52:06 +0000

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can’t swim!
Peter: Oh, he’s not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he’s a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn’t mean he can’t hear. Kick Joe, kick!

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Peter Is Just Not A Vegetarian

Wendy Boswell — Mon, 08 May 2006 16:36:34 +0000

(Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are stranded in the ocean after a hurricane.)
Joe: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Peter! You’ve been eating my legs??
Peter: Yeah see, now this is why I didn’t say anything. I knew you were going to get like this.
(picture source: Family Guy Quotes)

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