Fast Animals Slow Children

Broccoli Must Die

Sesame Street Phone

Changing the Weather

Meg Races An Amish Guy

Meg’s Driving Test

Post from: Stewie's Playground

After taking Meg out for a driving lesson, Peter manages to smash the car into Quahog’s TV transmitter, knocking out the entire town’s reception. After first going through some intense withdrawal, Peter soon comes to enjoy living a life that doesn’t revolve around the tube. His new high-activity lifestyle is wearing out the rest of the family, however, so they try to find a way to bring Peter back to the couch.

A few good quotes from “I Never Met The Dead Man”:

Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn’t really matter what we say. I’m the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I’ll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don’t like black people.
Camera man: Hey guys, we’re still on in Boston.

Peter: Lois, you’ve got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I’m talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

Tom Tucker: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking.
Diane: Oh Tom, I don’t think your wife would appreciate that.
Tom: Haha, that frigid old cow lives in Quahog she can’t hear a word I’m saying.
Camera Guy: Actually, we’re back on the air in Quahog.

Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.

Peter: Let’s play a game called Takin’ the Fall for Daddy. If you win, I’ll buy you a convertible when you get your license.
Meg: Really? Oh Daddy, now I love you again.
Peter: Oh, you’re gonna make some Jewish guy a great wife.

Lois: Now kids, your father’s just trying to spend time with his family. Or kill us. I’m not sure which.

Lois: I know you don’t like broccoli Stewie, but you’ll thank me when you grow up big and strong like your father.
Stewie: A compelling argument. You’ve swayed me, woman. Mmmm. That is good. Oh I feel stronger already. Mmmm it’s good tasting and good for you.

And of course, you can watch it here: I Never Met the Dead Man. Enjoy!

Post from: Stewie's Playground