Carter Pewterschmidt

Let’s talk about Carter Pewterschmidt, shall we? Here are a few quick facts:

Carter Pewterschmidt is 70 years old and socializes with others who are extremely wealthy and powerful. He plays poker regularly with Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and (reluctantly) Ted Turner, winning CNN in the process. He owns U.S. Steel and once owned a greyhound, which he raced successfully until she became pregnant with what were thought to be Brian Griffin’s puppies. He does not approve of gay marriage or voting rights for homosexuals. He believes the secret to happiness is money, not love, and he believes his children should not be happy. Carter shows a highly sadistic streak, amusing himself by inflicting gruesome torments on Peter and other individuals. His voice and appearance can be comparable to Laura Petrie’s father on the Dick Van Dyke Show. He is also a member of the Skull and Bones fraternity.

– source

Read more about Carter Pewterschmidt after the jump:

He also made it into Forbes magazine:

Net Worth: $7.2 billion
Source: Inheritance, Media, Steel
Age: 70
Marital Status: Married, three children
Hometown: Newport, R.I.
Education: Yale University, B.A.

Longtime poker partner of Bill Gates and Michael Eisner recently discharged from Betty Ford Center following treatment for sleeping pill addiction. Long-term prognosis unclear; overheard saying, “Sleeping with the pills is better than sleeping with my wife.” Reportedly won CNN in game of Texas Hold ‘Em, only to have Ted Turner sheepishly admit that he doesn’t own the network anymore; violently dismissed counteroffer of Time Warner (nyse: TWX – news – people ) stock as “worthless.” Tumultuous personal life; son-in-law placed restraining order on him following alleged assault with ancient statuette; loveless marriage; said to love money above all else. New member. - source

He’s got an interesting MySpace profile as well:

My name is Carter, you idiot. Im the owner of US Steel. Im Rich! I play poker every weekend with Michael Eisner and Ted Turner…a bunch of jackasses. I have 3 kids, Lois, Carol and Patrick. Lois is married to a fat bastard named Peter, they have 3 kids. Stewie, Chris and…a girl, Mindy? I love money.. I dont care for happiness. In my words, money is life. I’d much rather be rich then happy and thats what I tried to teach my children their entire life. I’m married to Barbara, shes old and unattractive and thats about all I know about her. I married her for the money, you know how it is…. I like to drink..a lot, and I also take a little too many sleeping pills before bed every night…

Carter Pewterschmidt shows up in quite a few episodes, among them, Peter Peter Caviar Eater:

Screwed the Pooch:

The Fat Guy Strangler:

What’s your favorite Carter Pewterschmidt moment? Share in the comments.