Friday Fun With Family Guy Quotes

Peter: Well guys, my vasectomy is tomorrow.
Cleveland: You poor bastard. After all, sex is pointless without potantcy.
Quagmire: That’s right, you take the venom out of a cobra and what do you got? You got a…a belt.

Peter (In Asiatown): Oh my God it’s Jackie Chan! (Asian guy walks away)
Peter (to next Asian guy): Oh my God it’s Jackie Chan! (Asian guy again walks away)
Peter (to another Asian guy): Oh my God it’s Jackie Chan!
Jackie Chan: Great to see I have a fan! Oh my God it’s Ethan Hawk!
Peter: No I’m not.
Jackie Chan to Chris: Oh my God it’s Ethan Hawk!
Chris: Nope.
Jackie Chan to Meg: Oh my God it’s Malcom in Middle!
Meg: Im not a boy!
Jackie Chan: Yes you are.

Peter: It’s already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren’t they? (Pauses.) Oh crap…since when did they change the meaning of “for” to “from”?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Peter: Why wasn’t I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said “for Peter” on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn’t…you know, its just easier to call you stupid.