Francis Griffin

Francis Griffin is one of the more odious characters on “Family Guy”; he has absolutely NO redeeming value, whatsoever. Really. I’ve tried, but I just can’t find it. He is a nutball strict Catholic, like Opus Dei strict, and I frankly wouldn’t be surprised to find him whipping himself in a closet in order to purge the Debbil.

Anywho, Francis at one point got a job at the toy factory that Peter works, and soon made his way to supervisor, whilst making everyone in the Griffin household feel guilty for anything from holding hands with a boy (Meg) to insinuating that Chris was, ahem, getting hairy palms in the bathroom rather than dropping the kids off at the pool. Here’s some quotes:

Peter: We love the Bible in this house.
Francis Griffin: Really. What’s your favorite book of the Bible?
Peter: Uhhhhh… the book where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.

Peter: Dad, now that you’re retired, you’re staying with us. No arguments, I’m putting my foot down.
Francis Griffin: I don’t want to be a bother.
Peter: It’s no bother, is it Lois?
Lois: Of course not, we’d love to have you stay.
Francis Griffin: You’re a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won’t burn in Hell after all. Maybe you’ll just go to Purgatory with all the un-baptized babies.
Peter: You hear that Lois? You love kids.